Today, I Poem

Today, I

by Emma S.

Today, I

Breathed.

Opened up my eyes.

Took a refreshing sip of water.

Kissed my cat on his little head.

Held my lover’s hands.

Wore my favorite, comfy pj’s.

Ate food from the Earth.

Stood on my own two feet.

Cleansed and showered my functioning body.

Laughed, cried, and pondered at a book and tv show.

Painted and brushed my face with colors and sparkles.

Collected the leaves and sat upon the moss outside.

Heard the song of birds.

Drew doodles and lines that made shapes into figures into art into life.

Played games of exploration. I won. I lost.

Listened to my mother’s voice three inches from my ear, she’s 100 miles away. 

Prayed and thanked my Angels. 

Noticed their signs. 

Danced to music, my body twisted and swayed itself into expanding space.

Relaxed on a pillow, felt grounded yet soft. 

Yes, I did all these things. But also

Today, I

WorriedAboutThingsICantControl.WhatIfSomethingBadHappens?ToMe?OrMyFamily?WhatHaventIDoneToday?AmIDoingEnough?WhatWasThatThingIHadToGetDoneLastWeek?DidIWriteThatDown?Shoot,IForgotToRunThatErrand.Ugh,WhyIAmILikeThis!!WhatIsEveryoneElseDoing-IBetTheyAreHavingFun.IAmHereAtHome.IWantToGoOutButIAlwaysWantToBeHome.WhyCantIBeInMultiplePlacesAtOnce.WhyCantIMakeUpMyMind?WhatDidTheNewsSayToday?ProbablyNothingGood.IShouldCheckMyPhone.IShouldCheckMyPhone.IShouldCheckMyPhone.OhYeahTheresClothesToPutAway.ThereAreDishesToPutAway.ThereAreSpacesToClean.IHaveToDoThatAllToday.IfIDontIWillBeMadAtMyself.IWishMyHairWasShinier.IShouldHaveOrderedThoseBoots.MyMakeupDoesntLookItsBestToday.TheyAlwaysLookSoPutTogether.OhMan!ISpilledSomethingOnMyShirt.WhatElse..

DidntIJustBuyThisShirt?!AlsoWhyDoesntItFitMeRight?DingDingDing.IShouldCheckMyPhone.NothingInteresting.Whatever.IHopeSomethingGoodHappensThisWeek.IHopeNothingBadHappensThisWeek.INeedToWriteAToDoList.INeedToMasterProductivityAndRest.INeedToDoThis.INeedToDoThat.Man,ThisIsExhausting.MyCar...ItsNotWorking.AhhhNotAgain!IllHaveToSaveUpMoreMoney.HowMuchMoneyDoIHave?ImSureOthersAroundMeHaveALotMore.DoYouThinkThatMakesThemHappier?OkayPlanItOutNow.ToDoList.Today.Tomorrow.NextWeek.NextMonth?WhatIsToday?Saturday?Dang,TimeGoesFast.DidISpendItWell?WithThePeopleIlove?WhatHaveIDoneForMyself?AmIOkay?IsEveryoneOkay?

And then

Today, I

Decided.

Hit Refresh.

Appreciated the small things, everything and everyone I have.

Enjoyed the rest.

Enjoyed the busy.

Enjoyed the moments in between.

Choose Gratitude.

Self-Love.

Self-Patience.

To live in the present. 

Tomorrow will come.

Just not today.

Today I am here.

Safe.

Sound.

Today, I

Existed. 

That's all that really matters.

Today and I- were the only requirements.